Etiquette and Norms

We knew living in Macau would be a different experience for our family.  We knew we'd have to make many adjustments moving from America to Asia, suburbia to big city, house to apartment, personal vehicle to public transportation, and public school to private school.  We also knew people would do things differently here but we've been surprised by some of these differences.  Although it's been easy to adapt to some of these practices, it's a struggle to conform to others.  Either way, we're enjoying the chance to learn about and appreciate another way of life.

Here's a list of some of the new social norms and etiquette we're adjusting to in Macau:

Social Norms

Be aggressive - Pushing, shoving, and cutting in lines are common practices so be aware and don't be afraid to do what's necessary to keep your place or get in the door.

Get domestic help - Hired "helpers" (often from the Philippines or Indonesia) clean, cook, wash, shop, and often watch the children.  In addition, grandparents assist in the role of child care when both parents work.

Greet with a bow - Although the traditional Chinese bow is not commonly used today, many still nod their head slightly to say hello or thank you.  It's also common when passing out business cards or giving a gift to do so with both hands and a slight bow.  

Little or no personal space - In elevators and buses, there's always room for more people - just get closer together.  We often feel crammed and claustrophobic but others don't seem to mind the tightly packed quarters.  Many people here also don't have reservations about getting up close and personal with strangers.  Without warning or permission, we've had countless strangers touch our kids' hair and faces. Abby even had two ladies take her pony tail out so they could play with her hair without asking.  And friends have told us that complete strangers have picked up their babies to cuddle and coo at without permission.

Restaurant Etiquette

Don't clear your food tray - Let the employees take your stuff to the garbage.  Even at McDonald's, leave your tray at the table to allow the employees to clean up after you.  We've been scolded a few times for trying to clear our own trays.

Be aggressive - When restaurants or food courts are crowded (most mealtimes), you do what you have to do to get a seat.  Someone sat at our table to watch us finish our meal just so his group could have the table when we were done.  Another time, an old man approached a table at the same time as we did and claimed the empty water bottle left at the table was his so we couldn't sit there.

No need to tip - Tipping is not a common practice in China.  We found that many restaurants think we "forgot" our money when trying to leave a tip and kindly return it.  More western style restaurants, however, are familiar with the practice and often add a gratuity fee to the bill to ensure they get a tip.

Raise your hand - To call the waiter/waitress over to order food, ask for assistance, or get the bill, you must raise your hand.  They will not come to your table unless you ask for them.

Burp and slurp - It's acceptable and even complimentary to slurp your food or burp while at restaurants or in public places.  Most of us still find these practice rude and disgusting but Leah thinks it's funny and has become pretty good at on-demand burping.

Transportation Etiquette

Bus etiquette - Give your bus seat to the elderly, disabled, pregnant women or those with children.  I can usually get a seat on a crowded bus when Leah is with me.  But, Ian looks too big so he and the older kids usually have to stand.

Car etiquette - I'm not sure if there are any laws or regulations about passengers in a car but if there are, they're extremely lax.  It's very common for people to hold their kids (even babies) on their laps in cars, both in the back and front seats.  Stuffing lots of people into a car is also typical.  I hate to admit it but our family of 6 plus a family of 3 have squished into a 5-seater car more than once - it's the "Macau way".