Etiquette and Norms

We knew living in Macau would be a different experience for our family.  We knew we'd have to make many adjustments moving from America to Asia, suburbia to big city, house to apartment, personal vehicle to public transportation, and public school to private school.  We also knew people would do things differently here but we've been surprised by some of these differences.  Although it's been easy to adapt to some of these practices, it's a struggle to conform to others.  Either way, we're enjoying the chance to learn about and appreciate another way of life.

Here's a list of some of the new social norms and etiquette we're adjusting to in Macau:

Social Norms

Be aggressive - Pushing, shoving, and cutting in lines are common practices so be aware and don't be afraid to do what's necessary to keep your place or get in the door.

Get domestic help - Hired "helpers" (often from the Philippines or Indonesia) clean, cook, wash, shop, and often watch the children.  In addition, grandparents assist in the role of child care when both parents work.

Greet with a bow - Although the traditional Chinese bow is not commonly used today, many still nod their head slightly to say hello or thank you.  It's also common when passing out business cards or giving a gift to do so with both hands and a slight bow.  

Little or no personal space - In elevators and buses, there's always room for more people - just get closer together.  We often feel crammed and claustrophobic but others don't seem to mind the tightly packed quarters.  Many people here also don't have reservations about getting up close and personal with strangers.  Without warning or permission, we've had countless strangers touch our kids' hair and faces. Abby even had two ladies take her pony tail out so they could play with her hair without asking.  And friends have told us that complete strangers have picked up their babies to cuddle and coo at without permission.

Restaurant Etiquette

Don't clear your food tray - Let the employees take your stuff to the garbage.  Even at McDonald's, leave your tray at the table to allow the employees to clean up after you.  We've been scolded a few times for trying to clear our own trays.

Be aggressive - When restaurants or food courts are crowded (most mealtimes), you do what you have to do to get a seat.  Someone sat at our table to watch us finish our meal just so his group could have the table when we were done.  Another time, an old man approached a table at the same time as we did and claimed the empty water bottle left at the table was his so we couldn't sit there.

No need to tip - Tipping is not a common practice in China.  We found that many restaurants think we "forgot" our money when trying to leave a tip and kindly return it.  More western style restaurants, however, are familiar with the practice and often add a gratuity fee to the bill to ensure they get a tip.

Raise your hand - To call the waiter/waitress over to order food, ask for assistance, or get the bill, you must raise your hand.  They will not come to your table unless you ask for them.

Burp and slurp - It's acceptable and even complimentary to slurp your food or burp while at restaurants or in public places.  Most of us still find these practice rude and disgusting but Leah thinks it's funny and has become pretty good at on-demand burping.

Transportation Etiquette

Bus etiquette - Give your bus seat to the elderly, disabled, pregnant women or those with children.  I can usually get a seat on a crowded bus when Leah is with me.  But, Ian looks too big so he and the older kids usually have to stand.

Car etiquette - I'm not sure if there are any laws or regulations about passengers in a car but if there are, they're extremely lax.  It's very common for people to hold their kids (even babies) on their laps in cars, both in the back and front seats.  Stuffing lots of people into a car is also typical.  I hate to admit it but our family of 6 plus a family of 3 have squished into a 5-seater car more than once - it's the "Macau way".

Funny Signs

Although the official languages of Macau are Chinese and Portuguese, there are a few signs with English translations.  Many of these English translations are worded funny and make us laugh.

Beware of the Door

 This notice was posted in our building last month and says:

To: Dear residents of Super Flower City,

        Our company updated the data of elevators recently, may be it would cause our elevators can't distinguish the information of some less residents' smart cards.

        If dear you found this above situation happened, just contact us (###) at once to register.  We will try our best to check and change another new card for you.

        Thank you for your cooperation!

There are lots of special areas designated as "water closets" for dogs.

And some signs with no words, still make us laugh.

Get-Out-Of-The-Apartment Activities

Adjusting to apartment life has not been easy for 4 kids who are used to a big, spacious house and a big, grassy yard with plenty of room (inside and outside) to run and play and dance and kick or bounce a ball.  Living in an apartment with people above, below, next to, and across the hall has awakened a new sense of awareness in our family.  We've realized how loud and annoying some of our activities can be and we think twice about doing them so as not to annoy or disturb our neighbors too much.  Often it's hard and frustrating to tone down an activity or eliminate it all together but we don't want to be like some of our neighbors who practice the piano very late every night, bounce marbles or other small toys across the floor frequently, talk in extremely loud voices, or watch TV all day and night long.  Some days we just HAVE to get out of the apartment to release our built up energy.  Here's a few of our go-to activities when we "need" to get out of the apartment.

HIKING

One of our favorite activities is getting out of the city and hiking in the Taipa Pequena or Taipa Grande hills.  They've become our little "get-aways".  During our hikes, the kids love to collect rocks and leaves, pick flowers, and climb up and over all the boulders.    

And, hiking is even better with friends!

Near the top of Taipa Grande there is a sledding hill (no snow just plastic) that's also a fun get-out-of-the-apartment activity.  

EXPLORING

Since moving here almost 8 months ago, Kyle's been determined to see every nook and cranny of this 11.5 square mile city.  He knows Macau very well and I'd be surprised if he hasn't already walked on every street.  Part of getting to know Macau, has included taking the family on exploratory walks to get lost in the city.  On these "walks" we've discovered a number of different landmarks and lots of interesting things.  We've found the cool dragon wall,

a statue of a Portuguese explorer,

a statue of a Portuguese poet and colonizer,

a Catholic church,

Buddhist shrines of all shapes and sizes,

Old Taipa Village,

and the Kun Iam Statue (goddess of mercy).

Sometimes we stumble upon performances, like this Lion Dance,

or cultural exhibits,

 or just enjoy great views of our surroundings.

It's also fun to come across more unusual things like the round "hobbit" door,

a rickshaw,

uniquely designed cars,

or the giant Fanta and Coke bottles. 

(Coke and Fanta are favorites here but other sodas like Root Beer are extremely difficult to find)

We've had lots of good times exploring Macau.  Our new twist on exploring is letting one of the kids lead the expedition.  They can take us to their favorite place or wander down new paths.  They love being in charge and making the decisions.  And surprisingly, they can get us home with little or no help.  Even Leah recognizes landmarks and can tell us the right direction to go back home.

PLAYING AT THE PARKS

There are lots of different parks around Macau.  The closest park to us has a playground,

swings, exercise equipment, a fish pond, and gazebos.  We visit this park frequently, especially Leah and I when the kids are in school.

Another big park near our apartment also has playgrounds and swings but there are full time guards watching to make sure adults don't get on any of the equipment, even to help babies or toddlers (just one of the many strict rules we don't understand here).  This park also has a running track, exercise equipment, basketball court, swimming pool, and a football court (I can't call it a soccer field because it's enclosed and doesn't have grass).  Here's Cade playing a 3 on 3 game in it (he's in the blue shirt).

Other parks we've found by accident while exploring the streets of Macau

or hiking in the hills of Taipa.

 There are also a few small parks tucked away in little corners like this park with the colorful spinning contraption and an old metal slide.

Getting out of the apartment not only helps release the kids' energy but also helps me keep my sanity.